Alas and alack, the horrible fortune of my life
Filled to overflowing with the circumstance of strife
I liken my existence to that of Biblical Job
Misery upon misery pales beyond any hope.
Lower than a rattlesnake’s brow
Luck so low that it’s more than foul
Lower than a wagon wheel rut in Death Valley
With more misfortune than a man can tally.
Hardship, trouble, calamity, and adversity
Descend like a reign of a gloomy destiny
With a portent that the worst is yet to come
Oh, hurry cruel fate that thy will be done
And free me at last from this abysmal ambsace*!