Where am I going? I am in a car and traveling the highway but am I the driver or am I the passenger?

If I am the driver, I am likely to have a pretty good idea of where I am going although I may be lost or confused. Or I may be simply following my whim and inspiration, listening to my inner voice. If I am able to access a map or GPS, I may have a better assessment of my journey and where I am along the highways and byways. I can see options, some of which are quite a bit out of the way but promise to be very scenic. Also, the way for me is confined to certain limited choices. I can’t just drive the car up into the woods or across a lake, I must stay on roads that are navigable.

However, if I am merely the passenger, I am likely at the whims of the driver. I may try to influence the driver but for the most part I have little control. How pleasurable the drive is, is entirely up to me. It is my choice. I can enjoy the ride and the passing scenery, or I can be obsessed with my lack of control and not really pay attention to what is happening. I can pout. I can throw a tantrum. Or I can pay attention. Nothing will change except the atmosphere.

The obvious metaphor I am using here is my spiritual journey which I think is the only journey that I have ever been on. I have been hypnotized and entranced with my physical journey and my ego’s journey. Corporeal and seductive journeys that they are, they can only temporarily abate the yearning inside that compels me to search. I find it is like searching for the sea as you are swimming in it. Oh wait. Here it is.

A question for some time for me has been is that of predestination. Am I simply a bauble in a world of cause and effect? Or do I have free will? I think that like everything I know of in nature, there are no hard boundaries. I tend to think that it is a combination of destiny and free-will. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive. It may be equivalent to nudging the Queen Mary on an oceanic voyage. A continuous small nudge starting at the beginning of the journey will influence your ultimate destination. I think that our free will that is nudging against the cause and effect can vary in strength and simply being aware of your journey and the lessons you are learning can be a factor as well.

And for what is it I search? The Holy Spirit, love, peace, truth, beauty, meaning, compassion and joy. I think that the words are all synonyms. We frame each word differently seeing it through different lenses and different points of view but essentially it is where we are headed.